Quitting a Whole Lot

On expanding our capacities to pivot towards deep noticing

Something I’m noticing from myself is the big relief that’s come with quitting. And it turns out, there are so many of us — the us I’m using to describe incredible writers, quilters, and teachers. We’re letting go of outdated ways of doing things in lieu of the things that feel more easeful. We are quitting practices and platforms that suck the life out of us. We are quitting the expectations given to us as artists that we are to be producing — producers of free labor and of content that keeps the wheels of the algorithm greased. We are quitting and gaining something so much greater — presence.

I’ve been setting so much down, unknowing of how much I was actually carrying — how heavy my neck and shoulders had become from what I thought was mine to hold.

I’m noticing how I orient towards quitting. I’m noticing the differences between the urge to quit something because I’m scared of facing it versus quitting something that just no longer works. I’m noticing the aspects of quitting that are deep processes of transition. I’m noticing the aspects of quitting as grief work — mourning the space between what used to be and what is now. I’m noticing the tension between my comfort zone and what it is I desire — the actionable steps of quitting, processing, and moving towards the new.

I’m giving myself the space to feel bored, allowing for the thoughts of mundane to be washed over by the dreams of next. I’m giving myself the time it takes for something big to make its way to the forefront of my entire practice.

My quilt photographed with Hayley Williams of Paramore for an interview with The New Yorker, taken by Peyton Fulford

The transformation in quitting is life-affirming. I quit being straight. I quit believing in the power of the individual. I quit late-stage capitalism philosophy for my business. I quit my toxic relationship to restaurants and alcohol. I quit wellness that doesn’t ask questions. I quit taking clients. I quit being silent for the sake of keeping the peace. I quit showing up in spaces that made me feel like shit. I quit sharing my guts on social media. I quit doing work for exposure. I quit caring about being seen all the time. I quit seeking attention from people that don’t value my time. I quit looking outside of what is in front of me for guidance.

I quit.

I quit.

I quit.

In all of the quitting — all of the tears and grief that came with it — came space. The quitting created a doorway for clarity. The quitting created a portal for something I’d never experienced before. The quitting gave me deep relationships and deep love. The quitting brought me a dog. The quitting gave me jobs that I absolutely love and feel so grateful for. The quitting allowed me to see that the way things present is unlike anything I could have ever imagined.

The more I quit, the more I become. The more I quit, the closer I am towards my very own unique truths.

Quitting is grief work.

Quitting is death work.

Quitting is body work.

Quitting is expansion.

Quitting is spacious.

Quitting is disorienting.

Quitting is thrilling.

Quitting allows for clarity.

Quitting is the fool.

Quitting is a lesson in trust.

Quitting is cool.

Quitting is gay.

Quitting is a necessary part of creative practice.

Cool Shit Going on! Noticing! Reading!

🕯 Barry’s brand new badass Oracle Deck

🕯 Alice’s show “my eyes cannot see but my body feels” is up at Whitespace in Atlanta until April 15 do not miss it

🕯 Jordan’s new album is coming out so check out Rose Hotel’s Soundcloud in prep for this amazing human that has worked so hard for it

🕯 Kev is on tour with Andy Shauf for his new album Norm and Katy Kirby is opening — go see them it’s p incredible

🕯 Big music festival and week of action in the forest in honor of Tort who was killed by the Atlanta police. BE CAREFUL AND MAKE A SAFTEY PLAN WITH YOUR FRIENDS PLEASE. THIS EVENT HAS THE POTENTIAL BE DANGEROUS SO PLEASE PREPARE FOR IT WITH RESOURCES IN PLACE

🕯 Symone painted SZA and looks like a quilt and amazing

🕯 Rachel Howe of Small Spells is offering a class on BOUNDARIES for readers, healers, and those working with energy

🕯 Atmos’ Article on “How the Attention Crisis is Prohibiting Movement Building”

As always, thank you for being here.

A portion of proceeds for this newsletter go towards the Forest Defense Fund.

Meredith