We’ve made it to December. It’s been a hell of a year. It’s been ridden with grief, death, violence, and greed. We’re of witness to so much information, so rapidly, all of the time. I honor when you need to take a step back. I honor when you need to prioritize yourself. I wrote a piece on boundaries that you can access at any point if and when you feeling unwavering.
I’ve created a playlist in tandem with the tarot card of the month. It’s a compilation of artists I’ve grown to love this year, work I’ve further explored, and songs of my past that make me reflect on how far I’ve come. Feel free to listen and share with your friends. Maybe you’ll be inspired to make a playlist of your own that makes you reflect on your own journey this year.
Some housekeeping in moving forward — the monthly tarot offering will be tucked inside the paid subscription starting in January. I have plenty of free writings that you may work your way through if you’d like to better understand my offerings. I’d like to honor my patrons that support me financially. Please consider switching to paid so I may continue to show up here with presence. I appreciate y’all greatly.
The tarot card for the month of December is 🧹 the nine (9) of wands 🧹
The nine of wands has many meanings all tucked inside of its imagery. It’s one that is nuanced. The 9 has the ability to feel beautiful and fulfilling. The 9 can also feel arduous, annoying, and exhausted.
Above you can see the 9 of wands as depicted in the small spells deck. A hand is reaching to light the last candle of 9. A pyramid-like arrangement of candles are all lit underneath the 9th. The lessons of inner-knowing can no longer be extinguished from the toolkit of learned experience. It allows us to see the stairs of completion in sight. It allows us to see the winding path that it’s taken to get here.
The 9 of wands in the Rider-Waite Smith deck feels more precarious. There is a figure in the foreground surrounded by upright wands. Their hands firmly hold the 9th wand, as if it’s the only crutch holding them up. Their head is bandaged; their expression tense. This 9 of wands shows a similar message, but one where the lessons almost wiped them out entirely.
The imagery here feels less like the stairs of completion and more like a fence isolating them from the very thing they are desperately seeking. Maybe just beyond frame is a helping hand. Maybe beyond the scope of the card is a town picking up the pieces of reckoning. Maybe beyond our narrow viewpoint there is solace.
It’s hard to know what this person may have just experienced, and I have a feeling we can all drum up delicate scenarios — Moments of built resentment that poured into our ability to show compassion in conversation; Moments of fear that had us clinging to habits we no longer wish to uphold; Moments of despair for all that we can’t bear to carry on our own anymore.
The nine of wands can be a card of wanting to give up. It can feel like defeat. It can feel like the last reckoning. It can be the card in the spread that points to setting something down. It raises the question, “is it worth it?”
Yet, the 9 of wands can be the card that illuminates the path towards completion. It is the card that allows the window of opportunity to become clear. It is the card in the spread that indicates “see it through!” It has the beautiful ability to show us just how far we’ve come.
The 9 often comes through as both for me. There are lessons I’ve learned that I absolutely do not want to repeat. There are learned nuggets of wisdom that I carry with me every day. There is truth buried behind hardship. There is abundance right under our noses. There is gratitude waiting to be discovered if you let it.
Where might I allow slowness to carry me into moments of clarity for how far I’ve come this year?
Where might I allow this clarity to show me how much I’m carrying that is not mine?
Where might I allow this clarity to create space for what I’m calling in?
Where might I direct focus into the spaces I am able to make lasting change?
Where might I soften my gaze towards what nourishes me this season?
Can I bring this softness back into my communities as an offering of gratitude?
If you’re looking for cozy offerings, my sweatshirts are 20% currently with code: Fourofswords. I have one-on-one tarot appts you may find here.
Softening my gaze and body towards what nourishes me,