The spider’s web is web of protection around art-making, around play, and around intentional community. It is an offering of spaciousness from social media. This work allows me to take time with my daily practice, with myself, and with my communities that feels easeful in my body. I hope that these offerings will bring you more ease and consideration in your own body. You can find me here, my contact, online tarot offerings, and my IG @meredithannewhite.
I’m finding that conflict is coming up a lot in my own practice. I’m working to have the conversation instead of shying away from it even if it’s hard. I’m finding that conflict has the ability to be problem-solving. I’m noticing how being able to hold more than one truth in discussion allows for more compassion.
Conflict is absolutely breaking and expanding me.
I can’t help but think of the act of asking for care in advance as a form of embodied conflict resolution. Maybe it’s not resolution, but the ability to ask for care before the hard thing happens feels like a tangible step towards repair while in recovery.
I see this with my baby pup who got neutered last week. I collected resources and put up a quilt raffle. I think of this as I approach my bleed. I know that I need herbs to steep in the hutch and beet juice in the fridge. I see this as my friends ask for care before gender-affirming surgeries. Meal programs and comfy items have been set up as a means of embodied support.
It feels so vulnerable, and yet it allows for the come down to feel a little less jagged. Lately it’s sounded like, “I’m about to do something hard, and I am letting you know that I’m going to be sad and raw and anxious. Perhaps we could get tacos or lay outside and have a picnic.”
What if we brought this idea of advanced care to our bodies for more than just physical ailments? I like to think that the more I am in conversation with my body, the stronger my connection to listening to its needs may become. I haven’t always set myself up with care in these ways because I was so removed from my body for so long. I forget to listen to my body all of the time. It’s why I consider my relationship to most everything a practice.
If I am better able to recognize the signs of anxiety and depression floating in, then I may be able to ask for some of the same resources as acts of care. I want to feel nourished while digging into the depths of dismantling. I’d love to be in deeper conversation with my body so that I may be in deeper conversation with those around me.
This practice is bringing me to the threshold of difficult conversation often. It means that I’m at the threshold of not being liked by everybody. It means my practice is messy as hell. I have to be okay with that.
How do we honor the residue of difficult conversation?
How do we honor the space between conflict and repair?
What is the nourishment we apply to our emotional wounds like a healing balm?
What is the care we bring to our bodies so that we may bring them into spaces of communal repair?
Every one of you that sends me messages, comments, emails, likes, and shares this writing is what keeps me coming back. You have no idea how much it means to me. Thank you.
The baby one, my little pup, bilbo.
I have a quilt raffle going as I maintain practice with writing and caring for myself and pup. I will share more photos in a highlight on IG as I work on it.
I’m listening to Maggie Rogers a lot :)
I was able to see my partner for 2 days while on tour and that felt really special.
Community Market here in Atlanta is looking for new vendors. Check out their vendor application form for more info.
To my friend Meri that encourages me and has a big heart and willingness to dig into the bullshit with me.
I opened up slots for online tarot offerings <3
I appreciate y’all,