The Cost of Living, The Cost of Loving, The Cost of Free Speech
The Star in the Tarot, a Playlist, and Questions for this Next Lunation
I went to a lecture at the Auburn Ave Research Library hosted by Charis this week and was brought to tears and yelps of “oof”. Prentis Hemphill spoke of their new book, “What It Takes to Heal”. Interviewed by Alicia Garza, a discussion that was so thoughtful and deeply affirming. They both spoke of BLM, of the somatics of activism, of ancestral healing, and how we may better show up with each other in conflict because “the only constant in movement work is having your heart broken over and over and over again.”
It’s since allowed me to further reckon with transition. The transition of the old world and the new one we’re building; the transition of this life to the next; the transition of my body from one expression to another; the transition of my relationships that have crumbled under the weight of fragility; the transition of the land in my yard in opposition to the land of the city being plowed over. I’m becoming more comfortable sitting in the space between. I’m continuing to do a lot of work around the idea that I must have it figured out all of the time; that I’m doing it wrong if there isn’t a tangible result, a product, a concise conclusion at the end.
My bills are at the forefront of my awareness as my relationship with money-making has become a huge point of tension. At what cost am I doing work, am I making money, am I spending dollars with, on, and for people, spaces, and things that don’t align with my ethos? At what cost does my spending come between the meeting place of my words and my actions of true accountability? What does it mean to divest in large corporations and further invest in small business?
I’m watching my entire community question where their resources, their money, their sustenance is coming from. We are getting absolutely fucked by the city’s infrastructures — my markets got cancelled because the water main broke and wasn’t repaired for 7 whole days. The city’s funding that should be going back into housing and healthcare and education is being funneled into Cop City. Peers are quitting their corporate jobs and taking on positions of their own — autism coaching (hey sis!), birthing doula (hey Allison!), energetic practitioners (hey Damaris and ME!), Pelvic Floor Therapist (hey Charlie!).
We’re stepping into the thresholds of grief work, death work, trans after care, sitting with kids who are told they’re too much. Are we all waking up to the reality that the jobs that promise cushions and a ladder to climb almost always exploit someone on the lower rungs? Do we understand that at one point in time we will be considered disposable in the chain that is capitalism? Just because it may not affect you as significantly right now doesn’t mean it’s not coming for you somewhere down the line. Capitalism spares no one.
What does it mean for us to practice radical sustenance right now? All of the talk around Climate Change and Cop City and Colonialism isn’t some far off distant reality. We are living in it right now. Do we all understand that?
I present to you the tarot card for this upcoming lunation, month, season of time: 🌟 The Star 🌟
The Star reminds us to take up space, a lot of space. Stretch your arms to the sky and your feet out wide; feel the extension of your side body expanding in opposing directions. The Star reminds me that my full, outstretched body makes me a force to be reckoned with. My light, my joy, my passion, my special interests, my skillsets are to be shared. Let me be the absolute biggest in my body, let me show my body love and care, let me acknowledge my pain, sadness, anger, and everything in between so that I may meet you, someone outside of me, with more compassion.
The Star asks us to notice how big we are. The Star pushes us to be clearer in speech, bigger in practice, and louder for a Free Palestine, Congo, and Sudan. The Star says my needs are non-negotiable and should be met, better yet encouraged. The Star asks us to root into others who hold us accountable in the work. The Star asks us to lead and bring others with us. The Star does not ask for permission, the Star radiates truth and self-empowerment as a sensation, a devoted expression, a real human body with dimples and scars and the signs of a life-well lived.
If we are choosing the work of The Star, we are choosing to be bold. The cost of living is significant; the cost of loving is all we’ve got. Our words and actions have real power.
How do we use our bodies as physical vessels of resistance?
How do we use our words as deeper expressions of love for ourselves and others?
What is the cost of living? Is it at the cost of loving — myself, my body, others?
How do we use our resources to further radical sustenance that lasts?
🪨 Saturday Yard Sale with Mere Loves Dogs and Corey of King Pal Clay! I’ve got Tarot, tea towels, a bike I’d like to find a new home, and love! Mere has pimento cheese and Corey has ceramic explorations all for sliding-scale prices. We want to see you!
🪨 The Palestine Tee and Merch Drop is live! Everything is produced outside of me with lovely kids, baby, and tote items available. They’re pretty damn cool so purchase for a limited time babes
🪨 Next Friday’s full moon 6/21 I’m doing Tarot at Press Shop with Wine pours or NA bevvie options that are sure to delight. Let’s get into some witchcraft together
🪨 I’m working to pour both Root Inward Protection and Soft Strength Candles next week because y’all are wanting more! Stay tuned on my social for that
🪨 Estoria Market on 6/23 with candles (fingers crossed) and lots of tarot options
🪨 Mark your calendars for 7/13-14 as I’m a part of a market, music fest, and co-organizing a propaganda poster show that is not to be missed! All in L5P outside and inside of Liminal Space and Mainline’s Office. More to come on this xoxo
www.rootinwardstudio.com | @rootinwardstudio | @meredithannewhite